


Padded Minds

by DoctorsBadWolf



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 20:42:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8637379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorsBadWolf/pseuds/DoctorsBadWolf
Summary: "Padded walls, padded floors. Surrounding me, almost as tight as the straight jacket keeping me hostage. They say it's for my own good, but won't tell me what I've done wrong. Each day they come in, in pure white outfits to give me my medicine, brush my teeth, and haul me off to my next session." (Jim's POV)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story is in Jim's POV

Jim's POV

Padded walls, padded floors. Surrounding me, almost as tight as the straight jacket keeping me hostage. They say it's for my own good, but won't tell me what I've done wrong. Each day they come in, in pure white outfits to give me my medicine, brush my teeth, and haul me off to my next session.

I never remember my last session, but they say I've had many. The doctor tells me it's okay that I don't remember, and I'll get better overtime. She's reminds me of myself, with her blond hair and blue eyes, but she says she'd kill to have eyes like mine; her's don't shine as bright, I've never seen any like my own. Except for in holograms of my father, and sometimes when I look in the mirror I hate them.

"Why am I here?" I ask, as she shifts through old reports of our sessions. 

"You're not well Jim," she replies calmly. Do I even know her name? It's not on her jacket, and I can't recall her introducing herself ever. She's just there, apparently always been there; but I wouldn't know. Her answer floats back to my thoughtless mind, and it makes my stomach turn.

"What do you mean I'm not well?" I ask, needing clarification. I feel fine, but at the same time I want to scream in horror. Maybe she's right, maybe I'm not well, but why won't she tell me what's wrong with me? Don't I deserve to know? 

"Jim are you still having nightmares?" The Doctor question's, avoiding my previous question. I wanted to slam my fist against the table but the jacket prevented it. 

"What's wrong with me?" I shout, tears welling up in my eyes. I don't wanna be here anymore, I want Bones. Bones? Who's that? I don't know, It just seemed right. 

"Jim you need to calm down, you're safe here I promise. I just need you to answer some question's for me," She soothed in effort to calm my frayed nerves. 

"I need you to answer my question's," I sobbed, but she shook her head. Giving me a small smile, she pressed the emergency button under the desk. Two guards walked in, before helping me up and ushering me outside and back into my room.

"Please someone tell me what's wrong with me. Please." I beg, my knees going weak. Dropping me off in my room, I cried desperately. Please, what's wrong with me? Why can't I remember? Who's bones? That names the only memory I have left. Other than the distant memory of my father's eyes.

"Bones," I cried, if that names all I remember maybe they'll come for me? Maybe he's the one that left me here. If so he could still take me home, although I could be here for good reason. Shouldn't I know what illness I face? Wouldn't that help me get better? Or am I just to broken, impossible to fix?

Staring up at pale ceiling was dull, I imagined vast stars and galaxies above, but the white surface eventually drowned it all out. The vast space in my thoughts tried to call out to me, but I couldn't touch the stars. Not with this straight jacket on. 

I sniffled and cried, until my eyes fell shut. It was a dreamless sleep as always, but a male voice came through.

"Morning Darlin',"

"You're beautiful Darlin',"

"Dammit Jim,"

"It's alright Jimmy, I'm here,"

I woke up with tears on my face, and memories of an attractive man. Sometimes he looked grumpy, but he shared a loving smile. That smile seemed special, you could tell it was genuine. Something about him made my heart race, I wanted him to hold me close and save me from this hell hole.

The door opened, and my doctor walked in. 

"Jim it's time for your next session," She called sweetly.

"Next session?"

"Yeah Jim, nightmares again?" She asks, with a sad smile. It seemed wrong, like she didn't really mean it. 

"I don't remember having any sessions," I admit. I stared at her blankly, as she helped me up before leading me down to her office. 

The chair was uncomfortable, and the blank office made my eyes hurt. 

"So Jim, I know you've been having nightmares. Could you tell me about them?" She asked.

"What's your name?" I ask, not knowing what led me to ask her such a thing.

"My name?" She asks in shock, not expecting me to ask her such a question.

"You said we've had sessions before, but I don't even know your name," I say slowly, in realization. 

"You know who I am Jim, now tell me about your dreams." She bit, her eyes seemingly dead.

"Why won't you tell me your name, why won't you tell me what's wrong with me?"

"Jim, if you don't answer my question's your going to go through treatment. We're going to help you get better, oh wait you're too broken to fix. You're here for your own good Jim. Now tell me your dreams, and tell me what you're feeling." She commanded, and threatened all at once.

"Why do you need to know? Who's Bones? Why can't I remember anything?" I shout, trying desperately to get out of this damn jacket.

"Fine, treatment it is," She hissed. Two guards burst through the door, ripping me out of the chair and down the hallway. They took me to an operating room, slamming me down hard on the table, tying the restraints over the jacket to the point I couldn't move at all.

Guard one wiped down my forehead, attaching two damp cotton pads on my temples. Guard two shoved a needle in my arm, I screamed which allowed them to shove a mouth guard in. On top of the cotton pads he attached some paddles before the second guard slammed the lever down.

I bounced when jolts of electricity ran through my body, my eyes rolled back and my throat grew dry. It hurt, my mind was in shambles. Images of Space, Bones, my ship? Pounded my skull, willingly me to remember.

As soon as it all came back to me, another wave of electricity hit, and it all went blank. Suddenly a blurry figure removed something from my dry sandy mouth.

"Now Jim, whose Bones?" A female voice questions, my throat was raw and my vision was one of a kaleidoscope's.

"Bones?" I ask roughly, not knowing what was happening, who was Bones? Where was I?

"Jim you're in an asylum, you're here to get some help. Sadly you won't ever fully recover enough and be released, but I'm your doctor so you have nothing to worry about while I'm around." The woman explained.

I nodded not knowing what else to do, but relaxed knowing these people were here to help. I was carefully whisked away to a big room.

It had a living room, small kitchen and large master bedroom and bathroom. The bed had restraints like my jacket, as did the chairs. But everything was nicely furnished to perfection. It was high-class, but comfortable. The dark oak floors were cold beneath the soles of my feet, but welcoming nonetheless.

The living room had a large TV. It was nice here. I didn't know what was wrong with me still, sometimes I had flashbacks, hallucinations, and moments where I'd start crying without even realizing it. I didn't have to wear my jacket around my room, but I put it on so I'd feel better. It was like being hugged and protected.

My sessions with my Doctor were short, I'd tell her I remember our previous sessions a little more and more. She'd finally told me what was wrong with me. She said I'd survived, and that I'm a victim of many things. I'm traumatized, and blocking out my past so it wouldn't hurt me anymore.

I nodded in understanding, she then proceeded to explain if I'd knew what had affected me I'd have a complete melt down. Then be pushed past the brink of insanity. I had to believe her, because what she was saying felt true. The amount of medication I've been given only increased, but I don't think it's helping.

But it is I think, they promised. They gave me all this, it's lonely and isolated but maybe that's what I needed? We never talk about treatment, they just say I've gotten better, and that treatments going well. The treatment could just be the medicine, and I'm no doctor I don't know if the treatments working or not, and I don't trust myself enough to believe it's actually working.

I'll never know, but I'm safe here. I started having dreams about a man named Bones again, he's in most of my hallucinations along with a man with pointy ears and a red-headed Scottish man, and a smart-looking woman in a red dress. I knew not to talk about the hallucinations to the doctor, because every time I did they'd hold me down and shock me again.

I'd lie telling them I don't remember them after, and for a while I don't; but it all comes back. At night before I go to sleep I tell Bones goodnight, as if one day he'll be there to say it back. I wanted to remember all of him, but I can't and it hurt. I cried to sleep, as always and dreamt of what seemed like old memories. 

I woke when the door blew off its hinges, and saw the people in my hallucinations barge in. I sighed, fearing my hallucinations were getting worse, and began turning over and pulling the blanket over my head. My eyes shot open when I heard the voice in my dreams call out to me, but It's only my imagination.

"Jim!" I flinched when someone touched me, the hallucinations never touched me before. Was this real? They took the blanket off my head, and Bones held my face in his hands. He's real! He's really here! He's going to take me home.

"Bones?" I ask, staring up at him. He nodded, before pulling me into his chest.

"Yeah Jimmy, I'm here Darlin'," Bones coddled, and began running the tricorder over my body. I shuddered confused, wondering that if I'm being rescued, why was I really here?

"Where the Doctor?" I ask confused, and they all looked at my oddly.

"Doctor?" the pointy eared man asked. 

"I don't know her name, she's blond with blue eyes. She said I'm here because I'm a trauma victim," I explained, and anger crossed on their faces.

"Jim, I need you to tell me what's been going on." Bones asked, I then realized Bones didn't leave me in this damned place. They forced me here, they took me away from Bones, and held me captive.

"I woke up in a padded cell, in my straight jacket. They kept telling me I've had sessions before, but I don't really remember anything before I woke up here. She wouldn't tell me her name," I sniffled, my voice going tight with frustration. Bones ran his hand's through my hair, trying to calm me down. 

The pointy eared man looked over his shoulder telling two others to go find anyone in the vicinity. Did they leave me here? What was going on? I started to tear up, and buried myself into Bones; figuring I was safest with him. He held back tightly, before staring into my eyes and shining a light in them.

"Jim did they drug you?" He asked, and the red-headed man had found my medicine in the cabinet, and brought it to Bones's attention. 

"That's my medicine," I admit, while Bones read the labels. Something I never even thought to do. 

"Dammit," He muttered, before looking me over once again. 

"C'mon Jimmy let's get you back -" Bones started to say before he went silent. They all looked at Bones in concern, wondering what the dear doctor had discovered.

"What's my name Jim?" Bones asked, and I knew it had dawned on everyone in the room that I admitted earlier I didn't remember anything before being here.

"I don't know Bones," Was all I could say, before I hid in his side. He looked heartbroken, and their was sympathy in all the others eyes. He took my face in his hands, and stared into my eyes deeply, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

"How did you know we're real?" He asked, earning questioning looks from the other. 

"I saw you guys in my hallucinations, you never touched me. I tried to go to you bones but I couldn't touch you," I sniffled, holding him now that I really could.

"But I recall you a lot, I sometimes forgot about you after the shock therapy so I just stopped telling them I remembered you." I admitted, "I'd hear your voice in my sleep, so I just remembered you're Bones."

"Shock therapy?" The Scotsman sounded in horror and disbelief, his accent thick. Bones' grip grew tight, and it hurt. I whimpered pulling him out of his rage, and he muttered an apology before rubbing his hand's over my arm where his grip once resided. The woman ran over  
to us, and pulled me into a hug. 

"Oh Jim," she cried, and even the stoic elf guy looked angry.

"Spock you're telepathic, can't ye help Jim get 'is memory back?" The Scotsman asked hopefully. All heads including my own stared at elf guy Spock. 

"Possibly, but I don't want to risk the Captain's well-being. If I do, it wouldn't be all at once. It may take some time to give him his memories back." Spock explained.

"I don't give a damn if it's not all at once, we're doing it." Bones growled, holding me even closer. 

"Sir we found a body, blue eyes but not definitely not human."

"Not human?"

"The drugs," Bones said suddenly. "Those bastards."

"I say we get back to the enterprise," Spock insists, before the Scotsman speaks up. 

"Chekov beam us up,"

"Yes sir!"

In a flurry, we were out of that place, and Bones was checking me over in what I assumed was the Medical Bay. He was sad, but his professionalism never faltered.

"Are we together?" I ask, knowing he meant something more to me, and needed my assurance just as much as I needed his. 

"Yes Darlin' but you're in a tough spot sugar. Don't feel obligated to -"

"I Love you," I cut him off. He faltered and nodded.

"I love you too Darlin', you'll be back to your old self soon. I promise you sugar," Bones promises, and kisses my temple and then forehead.

After the first few telepathic therapies with Spock, I remembered almost everything. Remembering my past was the hardest, reliving Tarsus IV, and my abusive step father, and dying in the warp core. Spock handled it well, his stoic nature didn't allow pity; which made me feel a lot better.

Returning to the Captain's chair was a feeling like no other, like I was complete once again. Bones stayed at my side, and I was happy to have him back. How could I ever forget someone as lovely as Bones? My grumpy Leonard was back to normal as soon as I was. But his coddling didn't let up.

It felt nice, a little annoying at times. But I knew it was all out of love, and that's all I could have asked for. I might not be in perfect health, but with Bones' help I'll be alright. Not to mention my crew, my family will be too.

"There's no ship without It's Captain," Bones mumbled, hiding a smirk. As he took his place beside the Captain.


End file.
